The Power of Closure: Why It’s Essential for Healing and Moving On

How often have you found yourself stuck in the past, holding onto the idea that you need closure in order to move forward? Many people struggle with the notion of closure, thinking that without it, they can’t heal or move on. But the truth is, closure isn’t something that’s handed to us by others; it’s something we create for ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not able to let go of a past relationship, friendship, or situation, and you’re waiting for that “final conversation” or explanation, I want you to know something important: closure comes from within. You have the power to find closure on your own terms.

What is Closure, Really?

Closure is the sense of emotional resolution or understanding that comes after a difficult or painful event. It’s often linked to relationships, especially when they end abruptly or without clear answers. We tend to think that closure is a conversation or explanation from the other person that helps us make sense of things and feel 'complete' again.

But here’s the thing: closure doesn’t always require the other person. Often, we seek closure from external sources, thinking that it will provide the clarity we need to move on. The truth is, closure is about finding peace within yourself and letting go of what no longer serves you.

Why Do We Feel Like We Need Closure?

When we experience the end of a relationship or a difficult emotional situation, there’s often a sense of unfinished business. We feel like there’s something that needs to be said, a question that needs to be answered, or an action that needs to be taken before we can fully move on.

We might wonder:

Why did they do that?
What did I do wrong?
Why didn’t they give me an explanation?

These questions can hold us captive, causing us to replay past events and conversations over and over in our minds, keeping us stuck in the past. The truth is, there may never be answers to these questions, and no amount of external closure will make you feel better if you haven’t closed the door for yourself first.

Finding Closure on Your Own Terms

Closure isn’t about the other person—it’s about you. Here’s how you can create your own closure and take back control over your emotional well-being:

Acknowledge Your Feelings Before you can move forward, you need to acknowledge and process your feelings. It’s okay to feel hurt, confused, angry, or sad after a difficult situation. Honour your emotions and give yourself permission to feel them without judgement. By sitting with these emotions, you create space for healing.
Release the Need for Answers We often crave answers that we may never get. But constantly seeking them keeps us tethered to the past. Instead of focusing on “why” something happened or seeking an explanation from someone who may not provide one, let go of the need for answers. Recognise that you may never fully understand the situation, but that’s okay. You can still move on without knowing all the details.
Forgive (Yourself and Them) Forgiveness is a key part of closure. This doesn’t mean you condone or excuse the other person’s actions, but forgiveness is more about releasing the hold that past events have on you. It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional weight you’ve been carrying. Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is yourself—but once you do, you free yourself to move on.
Create Your Own Ending In the absence of the closure you may have been waiting for, it’s important to create your own ending to the story. Take control of how you want to feel and move forward. You don’t need someone else to give you permission to move on. Write your own conclusion, where you’re no longer defined by the situation or the other person.
Set New Boundaries If the situation involved a person who is still in your life, setting boundaries is essential for your healing. This could mean taking a break from communication, blocking their number, or establishing emotional boundaries to protect your peace. By setting clear boundaries, you create space for your own emotional growth and well-being.
Focus on Your Own Growth Closure is also about self-growth. Once you’ve made peace with the past, focus on your personal development and future. Engage in activities that make you feel good, learn new things, and surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. The more you invest in yourself, the more you’ll create a life that feels complete, regardless of what’s happened in the past.

Why Closure is Crucial for Your Emotional Health

You might be wondering, why is closure so important, especially if it doesn’t come from the other person? The answer is simple: closure allows you to heal. It helps you let go of emotional baggage, move forward with clarity, and open yourself up to new experiences and relationships. Without closure, you risk carrying past pain into your future, which can affect your self-worth, your ability to trust, and your capacity for happiness.

By finding closure on your own, you’re taking control of your emotional health. You’re saying, “I am worthy of peace, and I don’t need the other person’s validation to move on.” This mindset shift allows you to reclaim your power and create a future filled with love, joy, and personal growth.

My Personal Experience With Closure

I’ve been through my fair share of situations where I felt like I needed closure from the other person. I’ve waited for explanations, closure talks, and apologies—only to realise that those things don’t necessarily bring the peace I was looking for. It wasn’t until I decided to create my own closure, to forgive myself, and to stop seeking answers from people who weren’t willing or able to give them, that I began to heal.

The moment I realised that closure was something I could create on my own terms, everything shifted. I didn’t need permission from anyone to move forward. I took back my power and closed the door on the past. That’s when I was truly able to move on and build a life that was more aligned with my values, desires, and self-worth.

In conclusion, closure isn’t a gift that someone gives you—it’s something you create for yourself. It’s a process of letting go, forgiving, and moving forward with intention and peace. By taking control of your own closure, you stop allowing the past to dictate your future and start living for you.

If you’ve been struggling with letting go of the past or waiting for closure, I encourage you to take the first step today. Acknowledge your feelings, release the need for external answers, and create your own path forward. You have the power to heal, and it starts with you.